Monday, May 16, 2011

Jon Stewart hosting benefit for Story Pirates PURPOSEFULLY the same night as my brother's graduation

So, it turns out May 18-20 is a suspiciously popular time frame for epic events this year....

Six months ago, I marked my calendar to reserve those dates for my brother's graduation from the University of New Orleans (congrats, little bro!). This trip down to south Louisiana is something I've looked forward to with the gleeful anticipation of a seven-year-old awaiting Christmas Day.

I love New Orleans. (I mean, what's not to love?) Thursday through Sunday, I expect to enjoy an abundance of things I just can't get in New York, such as: drinking on Bourbon Street; beignets at Cafe du Monde; delicious, Cajun-style seafood; French Quarter Blues and Jazz street musicians; and, of course, a chance to spend time with my incredible family. It's sure to be a fabulous, 'Nawlins-style weekend of merrymaking, and I couldn't ask for a better time than the one planned to celebrate H.'s graduation May 19-22.
Here's the thing. A disproportionate number of email invites for events scheduled during that exact time frame have recently flooded my inbox. This leads me to the sole possible logical conculsion that the universe--or worse--a specific person in the universe (ahem, Jon Stewart) is out to get me.

Mr. Stewart is the obvious culprit in this, mainly because his event's invite was the first I received of these unfortunately dated opportunities for fun and general amusement. This means that the only possible explanation for the following deluge of emails is that they were Jon's whiplash-like reaction to my polite refusal. I'm fairly certain that, in a huff, he sent out an email to all of my friends and affiliated groups asking for them to schedule events around that time frame. His motivation? To corroborate both the veracity of my excuse and my allegiance to him as a fellow lover of funny things.

And I have to say, Jon: Well played, sir. Well played.

Below is an abbreviated list of events taking place over the course of the next several days that I was invited to at Jon's behest. As you will see, his infiltration of my inner circle ran deep, even touching my across-the-hall neighbors:

-Across-the-hall neighbors' rooftop party
-A meetup happy hour with my favorite blog, The Hairpin

-A New York SMU/TCU alumni mixer
-My friend's band's show (Ill Pastel)

Because I am otherwised engaged May 20, I of course politely declined each of these events, thwarting his plan to prove me a closet-hater of comedy! In short, I win.

I'd like to take a brief moment on this blog, though, to make amends with Mr. Stewart.

Everyone please note that his event was by far the coolest one I'll miss. He's hosting a benefit for this charity I love called Story Pirates. They promote the theater, literacy, writing, and the arts in underprivelidged schools by travelling to classrooms, asking students to write their own stories based on writing prompts, and then performing a few of the stories in front of the kids. The stories are always hilarious, and the kids get such a kick out of seeing their work come to life. The stuff this organization does is truly awesome.

Jon Stewart is only one of many well-known comedians who'll be performing for the event benefiting Story Pirates this Friday, and it should be a fantastic time. I would have gone if not for my brother's graduation in New Orleans, (I swear it's true, Jon. I would have gone! And I'm not "just saying that." Please just stop tortuing me with more fun things I could have done this weekend!! Have a heart!).  

Well Jon, as you can see, I declined all other invites for this weekend, which means you're safe on my list of events I'd second most want to go to. I'm sorry my brother's epic graduation in fabulous New Orleans trumps your benefit, truly. But, on the bright side of this tragedy, most of the people reading the email invite you sent out for the event were probably not invited to my brother's graduation, and will therefore very likely go to the benefit!

And also, I wrote this blog post, which means that anyone reading this who's locally based or who wants to splurge on a plane ticket for this worthy evening now has all the details :)

I hope this satisfies you, Jon, and that we can still be friends.

Finally, this goes without saying, but I really must ask that you stop telling my friends/groups to plan all of their future events for this upcoming week, please and thank you.

Kind Regards (and big, sloppy kisses),


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