Verizon's LOST Ad Campaign: Why I wag my finger at you, Verizon, and hiss "Tsk, tsk."

Two major television events scheduled this week made me seriously reconsider my "stick it to the man (you know the one)" decision to abstain from purchasing a TV or paying for cable. They were Tuesday's much anticipated LOST premiere, and tomorrow's Superbowl Sunday starring the New Orleans Saints and some other team whose name, myself being from Louisiana, I can't seem to remember. :P

I caught up on LOST Wednesday night on abc.com, a full 24-hours after the rest of the universe and probably, let's not kid ourselves here, the entire galaxy had enjoyed the event in HD from the comfort of couches and easy chairs.

It took near-herculean effort, but I somehow managed to avoid my coworkers' discussions about it all day, usually by sticking my fingers in my ears and yelling "Lalalalalalah!" if I heard a snatch of something that sounded LOST-esque. Sure, I got some looks, but by 6 p.m. when I finally got the chance to curl up in my bed with my laptop and home-cooked frozen potstickers, it was well worth it.

I won't get into too much of the episode's particulars here. I'll let the more talented LOST bloggers handle that. Just know that it was both wildly satisfying and confusing to the point of infuriating madness. So, basically, everything we've come to love and expect from the writers of LOST. Only it was the season premiere, so multiply the amazingness by about 100x... 

Ok, starting to gush and that's never pretty, so I'll move on to my real topic of interest: Verizon's poorly copy edited online ad campaign that premiered on ABC's website alongside the show.

I'm going to preface what I'm calling my "mini-rant" by first acknowledging that I am not, by any means, the Queen of all things grammatically correct. Don't you worry. I am well aware that while writing posts for this blog, in my own laziness or ignorance, I have committed many sins against the Gods of Grammar.

But, in the words of Ron White in his sketch about what he's doing to help the environment (eating the cows), "I'm only one man!" or woman, as it were. 

I am not an industry giant with a slew of employees and the opportunity to delegate the varying production tasks such as page design, copy writing, and copy editing to those more specialized in those areas. Additionally (and unfortunately) my blog does not get the kind of views that their ad campaign, appearing multiple times on both parts 1 and 2 of the season premiere on ABC's website, inevitably will.

I might be a bit more conscious of my P's and Q's if I knew they'd be up for the judgment of thousands. Verizon, evidently, is not of the same mind.

I present to you ladies and gentlemen the the jury, Exhibit A:

 

 And, a close-up of the crime scene:

This poll appears during every single commercial break throughout both parts 1 and 2 of the season premiere, which is why it stuck with me as something I couldn't take lying down. Every time this popped up, my gut reaction was what can only be described as an inward recoil. I just couldn't believe no one at Verizon saw this, and that it still hadn't been fixed by the next commercial break. And today, a full four days later, it remains.

For those of you who aren't apostrophe Nazis, let me fill you in. The copy should read "Will the island's origins be revealed?" or, if you want to get technical about it, because there are really two islands (although most people just refer to them both in the singular, as if they were one) it could read "Will the islands' origins be revealed?"

It cannot, however, under any circumstances,  read the way it does: "Will the islands origins be revealed?"

What does that even mean? I don't understand. While discussing this with a coworker who's a Production Editor with our company, she played the devil's advocate and joked "Well, if 'islands' is an adjective, it could work." At which point I snort-laughed and milk poured out of my nose while I pushed up my horn-rimmed glasses' frames held together by tape and adjusted my pocket protector.

I know that letting this single instance of advertisement oversight bother me so deeply that I went through the effort of writing this mini-rant devoted to it in the hope that someone from Verizon might come across this and make the madness stop, makes me a category 7 nerd.

But, I don't care. Something had to be said. If only for the sake of what's left of my sanity.

On a lighter note-- I've added my own (carefully copy edited) poll to this blog in the spirit of tomorrow's festivities. So, let me know who you think will emerge through the hours of unabashed chips-and-salsa consumption victorious. The Saints or those other guys? :)

Publishing in the Age of Blah, Blah, Blah

Last Wednesday I made the trek out to Brooklyn to attend indie publisher Melville House’s local author panel. This was the debut of their four-part series “Publishing in the Age of Blah, Blah, Blah” and was hosted by Melville House’s co-founder Dennis Loy Johnson.

Featured writers included, in no particular order:

Lev Grossman, The Magicians

John Wray, Low Boy

Myla Goldberg, Bee Season

Joshua Henkin, Matrimony

Heidi Julavits, The Uses of Enchantment

Joe Meno, Hairstyles of the Damned

Sarah Manguso, The Two Kinds of Decay

Tao Lin, Shoplifting from American Apparel

The topic on the table was e-books and what they may or may not mean to the people writing them. Appropriate enough considering earlier that same day Apple gave its much hyped announcement for what Johnson cheekily dubbed the “unfortunately named iPad.”

The turnout was impressive and by the time the event actually started (in true New York style, a good twenty minutes late) it was standing room only. Well, some people chose to plop down on the floor. So I suppose, if you want to get technical, there was also plopping room available.

The first question asked was addressed to both the authors and the audience. How many of us had ever read an e-book? From the author section, two hands raised. In the audience of 50ish, maybe seven. There were sheepish titters of laughter.

Johnson then asked the authors how many of them had also released their books in e-book format. About half raised their hands, a couple knew they definitely hadn’t, and a few of them laughingly confessed that they actually didn’t know.

Nevertheless, the authors had a lot to say about the possible implications e-books might have on their work. Emotions were mixed.

“It’s churlish to be upset about this (e-books)” proclaimed Heidi Julavits, editor of The Believer. But a few moments later she voiced concern over the iPad’s internet capabilities. “It’s like if you’re reading a book like Moby Dick and you’re on the subway, you’re committed to it. It’s the only book you have (with you) so you sort of have to force yourself to push through the tough parts. On the iPad someone might be like ‘this is getting boring, let me check my email real quick.’”

Author Joe Meno half-joked about the potential ramifications for e-book readers’ first dates. Snooping through people’s apartment bookshelf collections while they’re in the other room might become a thing of the past. According to Meno, there’s nothing like seeing the copy of Gravity’s Rainbow dog-eared a quarter of the way through in your date’s apartment. “You can say, ‘I couldn’t finish Gravity’s Rainbow either!’ and that’s when you might start making out!”

A lot of attention was given to the possibility of losing the bookshelf as we know it. Blogger and novelist Lev Grossman said “a part of the booky-ness of books is that… when a book is closed, it lives on in your life.” Grossman described the bookshelf as “a tribute to your brain."

Several additional topics were discussed, including but not limited to:

-how hardcover books might become for book lovers what vinyl records are for music lovers

-how the e-book may limit a person's ability to browse and discover new titels

-how the internet boom has put pressure on authors to also be self-promoters

-the general history of publishing and of the novel, which inevitably led to posthumous shout-outs to Faulkner and Fitzgerald

In other words, a complete nerding out on the part of us in love with books and publishing.

After the panel, follow-up questions from the audience were encouraged. That's when the woman sitting next to me, a Marketing Assistant with Penguin, raised her hand.

"I read a lot of e-books," she confessed. "I love my Kindle and carry it with me everywhere I go. For me, the reading experience isnt' that different. I still watch for how many pages I have left to go and slow down when I near the end. And, when I read a book I love, I buy it in hard copy. So, I guess my questions is, do you think there's a chance that e-book sales can help paperback sales?"

The answer seemed to be a resounding "yes." Host Johnson brought up the exampe of some authors like this one who have elected to offer free e-book downloads and watched their hard copy sales soar as a result.

The discussion wrapped up shortly afterward and we all mingled and drank wine from clear plastic cups. It was, in short, a lovely Wednesday evening.

What I took away from the panel discussion was this: despite what writers, readers and book publishers may think of the e-book, it's here to stay. And, though I too am Team Paper, I'll admit that the e-book has its endearing qualities (among them, for example, the potential to save publishing from a long, slow and agonizing death).

As a tech geek friend of mine so eloquently put it, "Leigh, the iPad is a revolutionary piece of technology that's very likely going to save your job. Embrace it."

Manhattan Price Gouging

You always hear about how expensive it is in New York City. It’s almost a source of pride for the people dumb enough to live in Manhattan (like myself). I spend an atrocious amount of money on my basic needs. Light bulbs, for instance, can cost $5 per 2-pack. Same with Kleenex and paper towels (per box and per roll), which is why I buy toilette paper and use it for all of my paper product needs, including table napkins. Buying all three items would literally clean me out. Pun not intended.

The worst is alcohol. If I buy a drink at a bar or a restaurant, a mixed drink can easily run me $15 a pop. Beer is slightly cheaper, ranging from $6-$10. And if I go to the grocery store, the cheapest six-pack costs $11. Which, considering the bar prices, is a deal. But when I remember college Wednesday dollar beer nights at bars in Dallas, I want to laugh hysterically and cry at the same time.

Which is why I try not to remember dollar beer night, or $2 wells specials, or the mythological "buy 1 get 1 free" deals. I think most New Yorkers live in a constant state of denial at the amount they spend on everyday products. There’s nothing you can do about it, so after a while, like anything else you do consistently, paying ridiculous amounts for groceries becomes the norm and you’re numb to the sting you used to feel when forking over $60 for a week’s worth of grocery items: milk, eggs, bread, beer, tuna, vegetables and fruit.

For that reason, when today while a brunch a friend told me he could find bottles of wine in Queens for $2, I wanted to slap him for telling me lies, because liars deserve a hard slap to the face.

But, since I valued our friendship, I restrained myself and politely informed him that that was impossible. The cheapest wine I can find at the liquor store near my apartment is $8. And that’s on a day with good specials.

Still, he persisted with his tall tales of a land mere subway stops away where I could find $2 wine aplenty. I decided to call his bluff. After paying our check we were on a train to Queens to settle the matter.

When we got there and, in fact, there existed a rack of bottles advertising $2 wine specials, I was truly, truly shocked. Then I bought three bottles and bottle of delicious looking golden cream sherry for the same price, and, for a brief moment, seriously considered relocating to Queens.
On the subway ride back though, with to-go shots of rum happily warming our bellies, I decided that, really, I could have the best of both worlds. I commute to work every day, why not commute to groceries as well?

So, lesson learned, Manhattan is a fun borough to hang out in when you have the money, but the other boroughs are definitely worth exploring. Something I’ve been meaning to do more of.

Next week I’ll be in Brooklyn for an e-book publishing conference. I’ll have to check out their prices on paper towels. :)